This year has been incredibly hard for many of us as teachers. For me, it included a medical scare that forced me to miss two months of teaching. This year was the kind of hard that reminded me how quickly things can change – and how profoundly the people we surround ourselves with matter.

I’m a fourth grade teacher, and I’ve been teaching for 20 years. Somehow through all of that time, through every change, every mandate, every challenging year, I’ve landed on teams with very passionate and caring educators. The incredible people I’ve had the privilege to work with over these two decades have been pivotal to my journey. To be honest, they are the reason I’ve been able to sustain my career and continue to thrive in this profession.

Taking medical leave this year drove home how essential camaraderie is in this profession. I resisted going on leave for over a month, pushing myself to come into work despite what I was experiencing physically. With the support of my teammates, I made the hard but needed decision to go on leave. I struggled with not wanting to leave my students but felt peace knowing my team would help ensure my class was taken care of.

Our team has a way of making that care visible. Sometimes that means holding a safe space to vent about a hard day. Sometimes it means taking the lead on planning a unit, or supporting each other’s substitutes, or offering to make copies or making sure each other’s students are taken care of. But above all else, it means setting aside time to just connect as people – and remembering that our students will be most taken care of when we aren’t burning ourselves out. 

It’s so easy to get caught up in all the challenging aspects of teaching – especially the pressures of planning. But it is the connections with other teachers that helps to keep us grounded. People who just truly care about us – making sure we’re okay, even outside of school. 

I still keep in touch with the teachers I started with 20 years ago and talk often with colleagues from schools I no longer teach in. I am still close with my mentors from my first year teaching, Pat and Janet, who taught on either side of me. My first year, I had 38 kids in my class and big behaviors. I was drowning. But they brought me in. They treated me like an equal. They took me off campus for lunch. They showed me how to survive and supported me in ways that ensured I would one day thrive. Pat still sends birthday cards to me and my children. She came to my wedding. Twenty years later just thinking about the impact she had on me then makes me teary. Those are the relationships that shape us, stay with us and show us how to show up for others in the same way.

Now when we get new teachers on our team, I think about what Pat and Janet did for me, and I try to offer that kind of welcome. Over the summer, we’ll do a team lunch: no school talk, just people getting to know each other. Establishing that bond as just people outside of teaching helps build a safe space. I want people to have that feeling that it’s safe to be imperfect and it’s safe to stumble. At the end of the day, we’re all human and we are going to have ups and downs inside and outside of school.  We’re going to get into tough conversations about things that matter for our students and we’re not going to agree about every plan or approach. But when you know each other and have established a strong base as a team, a place where people feel safe, there is always a path to bring the team back and rebuild stronger. 

To new teachers who are struggling, I want to tell you: It feels hard because it is really hard. One of my newer colleagues and I talk often about the importance of protecting our peace and acknowledging that when we’re okay, the kids are okay. As teachers, we need to prioritize ourselves. We need the space to acknowledge the challenges and the hard times we inevitably will face while also trying to recenter on the good. One of the things we’ve been joking about the last couple of years is entering our “silly goose era.” When we’re having a really hard day, or feel like we are drowning under the pressures this job so often presents, we do our best to shift to our silly goose phase. We focus on being present and having fun with the kids in our classrooms. At the end of the day, everything goes back to connections with the kids. Those connections, and being able to laugh with each other and with the kids has been really helpful, especially when things get tough. 

When I look back and reflect on the past twenty years, the main thing that has kept me in teaching has been all of the personal connections I have been so lucky to have made. It’s of course the success and growth I see in my students year after year, but it’s also the time we spend together. It’s the moments after school where colleagues come together and just laugh about life and connect about something that’s not on the to-do list. It’s the meet ups with colleagues on a Friday for dinner or the celebrations of outside of school milestones. And it’s the times when the realities of life hit and we bond together to support each other when life gets really, really hard. These are the things that carry you through. 

This week, I hope you’ll take a minute to celebrate the people who help keep you going. The teammate who checks on you. The colleague who makes you laugh. The mentor who never stopped showing up. If there’s a new teacher on your team this year, maybe you’re the one who sets up that first lunch. No school talk; just a chance to connect. This work is too big to do alone – and the best part is, we don’t have to.